Everyone knows the feeling. It’s that rage that rises when a driver is cut off on the highway or an employee is demeaned by his boss. People have trouble managing anger and other negative emotions. However, unleashing anger doesn’t produce the sense of catharsis people crave—it tends to feed on itself instead. The best path forward may be to understand anger—its roots, its triggers, its consequences—and cultivate the ability to manage it.
What causes anger?
The question of why some shrug off annoyances while others explode in rage is a fascinating one. One model of anger, put forth by psychologist Jerry Deffenbacher, posits that anger results from a combination of the trigger event, the qualities of the individual, and the individual’s appraisal of the situation.
The trigger is the event that provokes anger, such as being cut off in traffic or yelled at by a parent. The qualities of the individual include personality traits, such as narcissism, competitiveness, and low tolerance for frustration, and the pre-anger state, like levels of anxiety or exhaustion. Perhaps most importantly is cognitive appraisal—appraising a situation as blameworthy, unjustified, punishable, etc. The combination of these components determines if, and why, people get mad.
Which personality traits are linked to anger?
Research suggests that the tendency to become angry is associated with high neuroticism and low agreeableness. Outside of the Big Five personality traits, a few habits and attitudes may be linked to anger. These include:
• Entitlement (believing that one’s rights and privileges are superior to those of other people)
• Focusing on things out of personal control (such as a partner’s behavior)
• External regulation of emotions (trying to regulate emotions by controlling one’s environment)
• External locus of control (believing well-being is controlled by sources outside of oneself)
• Refusal to see other perspectives (viewing different perspectives as threats)
• Low tolerance for discomfort
• Low tolerance for ambiguity
• Hyperfocus on blame
• A fragile ego
Are there different types of anger?
Do men and women experience anger differently?
Why does anger sometimes feel good?
Why do people have revenge fantasies?
Why do people hold grudges?
What are the consequences of continual anger?
How to Manage Anger
Anger, like all emotions, should be monitored with self-awareness. This can prevent it from spiraling into hostile, aggressive, or violent behavior toward others or oneself.
Support groups for anger management can help people understand anger, identify its triggers, and develop skills to manage their emotions. In groups or individual settings, cognitive restructuring can coach patients to reframe unhealthy, inflammatory thoughts.
Outside of therapy, techniques from deep breathing and emotion labelling to adopting a problem-solving mindset can help people learn to navigate anger on their own.
How can I manage my anger?
If you are often carried away by anger, it can be helpful to understand the patterns that trigger you. It’s possible to intervene at different points along the way to deal with anger effectively.
1. Sleep: Sleep deprivation makes it harder to control angry impulses, so regular, healthy sleep can prevent you from being provoked.
2. Consider alternative interpretations: And ask yourself what evidence you have to support your angering interpretation. Consider different perspectives.
3. Take deep breaths: Take long, slow, deep breaths, using the diaphragm rather than the chest.
4. Avoid the “catharsis myth”: Venting anger, acting with aggression, and viewing aggressive content does not tend to release anger effectively.
5. Know that it’s ok to get mad: If you have been wronged, treated unfairly, or provoked, you should get angry, but express it assertively instead of aggressively.
How can I manage anger that’s warranted?
In cases of warranted anger, such as a coworker who never contributes to collaborative projects, you may want to use a different set of anger management tips. In those situations:
1. Distance yourself from the angering situation. This will help you stop ruminating and develop a clear path forward.
2. Dedicate time to thinking about how to solve the root problem so it doesn’t occur again.
3. Express your anger assertively, with a solutions-oriented approach, rather than aggressively.
How can I reframe situations to stop getting mad?
How can I handle angry people?
What do people learn in anger management?
How do therapists treat patients with severe anger problems?
Mental Health Conditions And Anger
Everyone experiences anger at some point. It becomes problematic, however, when the frequency or severity of anger interferes with relationships, work performance, legal standing, or mental health.
While there is no official “anger disorder,” dysfunctional anger and aggression can be a symptom of Intermittent Explosive Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder, and Borderline Personality Disorder. It may also play a role in manic episodes, ADHD, and narcissism.
Anger doesn’t require a formal diagnosis to be disruptive, or to benefit from help with its management.
Intermittent Explosive Disorder
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) is an impulse control disorder characterized by repeated angry outbursts, representing a failure to control aggressive impulses. These outbursts can involve verbal or physical aggression and result in property damage or physical injury. These reactions are also severely out of proportion to the event that sparked the episode.
Of the various disorders related to anger, perhaps IED most accurately describes the escalating explosions of violence we are witnessing today such as mass shootings. It may emerge from a failure to recognize and consciously address anger as it arises, before it becomes pathological and dangerous, perhaps starting in childhood.
For more, see Intermittent Explosive Disorder.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is a disruptive behavior disorder that involves a pattern of angry and irritable moods and defiant or vindictive behaviors. People with oppositional defiant disorder may lose their temper, lash out impulsively, become resentful, argue with authority figures, refuse to comply with requests, and deliberately annoy and blame others.
Two parts of the brain implicated in this reactive aggression include an overactive amygdala and an underactive prefrontal cortex—the region that helps regulate impulses and inhibit aggression. Medication and therapy—particularly a newer approach called Collaborative and Proactive Solutions—can reduce defiance and anger and teach healthy coping skills.
For more, see Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
Conduct Disorder (CD) is a disruptive behavior disorder involving a pattern of violating norms, rules, and the basic rights of others. Individuals with conduct disorder may bully, threaten, or physically hurt others. They may be cruel to animals, lie, steal, or destroy property.
While Oppositional Defiant Disorder involves reactive, explosive aggression, Conduct Disorder tends to yield proactive, calculated antisocial acts. Some people with the disorder will go on to be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder.
For more, see Conduct Disorder.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a condition characterized by instability and impulsivity, including bursts of anger or violence. Terrified of abandonment, people with BPD cling to those close to them, crave reassurance and validation, and are deeply upset by seemingly small changes. This turbulence can involve angry outbursts, severe mood swings, hopelessness, paranoia, self-harm, and suicidality.
The overblown rage so common in borderline may stem from problems of trust, such as learning not to trust parents or caregivers due to unreliability, neglect, and criticism. Anger may function as a defense against fears of possible abandonment and rejection.
For more, see Borderline Personality Disorder.
Depression is characterized by consistently low mood and feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness. Enjoyment and pleasure are diminished while irregularities in sleep and appetite emerge, among other challenges.
Both research and clinical observation have identified a connection between depression and anger. Anger is often a reaction to and distraction from inner suffering—feelings such as sadness, powerlessness, shame, anxiety, inadequacy, and isolation. Anger can be both an outgrowth of, and meaningful distraction, from the intense pain of underlying depression. Similarly, many people who seek help for depression come to recognize how anger directed inward, such as intense self-criticism, blame, and dissatisfaction, contributes to their depression.
For more, see Depression.
Research suggests anger is a tactic used by the loser to attempt to turn the tables.
What Is Hate and Where Does It Live in the Brain?
Looking at someone you hate induces a unique pattern of activity in the brain termed the hate circuit.
5 Ways Rage Can Destroy Relationships
Think before unloading your pent-up anger.
Why Some Long-Term Couples Still Fight
Repeating the same argument with your love partner? What’s really bothering you?
How to Talk About Money With Your Partner
Joyce Marter LCPC on August 5, 2022 in Mental Wealth
It’s tempting to avoid talking to your partner about money. Don’t do it. Try these five steps to improve your financial communication.
When Passive Aggression Could Be Something Worse
Loriann Oberlin MS, LCPC on August 5, 2022 in The Full Picture
Before you label annoying behavior as passive-aggressive, be aware that something deeper may be at play. Knowing the difference could improve things considerably.
How Anger Rules Over Some Families
Sarah Epstein LMFT on August 4, 2022 in Between the Generations
When you grow up in a house with an angry parent, everybody adapts—but silently suffers.
Don’t Blame the Testes for All Aggression
Ari Berkowitz Ph.D. on August 3, 2022 in Governing Behavior
Is testosterone from the testes really responsible for aggression?
The Power and Purpose of Anger
Ali W. Rothrock on August 3, 2022 in After Trauma
If you’ve experienced a trauma, feeling angry about it doesn’t mean all the work you put in to heal didn’t work or is invalid.
Are Human Emotions Hard-Wired, Pre-Cultural and Universal?
Glenn C. Altschuler Ph.D. on August 2, 2022 in This Is America
How emotions can be successfully unpacked.
Ultimate Mind Hack Flips Emotional Reactivity Into Calm
Donald Altman on August 1, 2022 in Practical Mindfulness
If you get reactive and later regret it, know that it’s really just a habit of mind. A few adjustments can replace toxic reactivity with equanimity and peacefulness.
The Surprising—and Transformative—Truth About Defensiveness
Gregg Levoy on August 1, 2022 in Passion!
A profound and counterintuitive truth about defensiveness is that vulnerability is strength, not weakness.
How to Help Anorexics Access Angry Feelings
Christine B. L. Adams M.D. on August 1, 2022 in Living on Automatic
Squelching anger can lead to many emotional illnesses. Verbalizing bottled-up angry feelings may help anorexics improve relationships and reduce self-starvation.
5 Steps to Unpacking Your Emotional Baggage
Jim Taylor Ph.D. on August 1, 2022 in The Power of Prime
I understand where my emotional baggage came from and how it affects me. But how do I unpack this baggage so it doesn’t continue to drive my life in an unhealthy direction?